PulseJournal.com

Laughed until I wheezed over the filler piece in the Local & State section of today's paper dealing with the "lead-in" Bible-reading marathon before the National Day Of Prayer. Before long, they'll have a lead-in to the lead-in to the event, then a lead-in to the lead-in to the lead-in to the event, then.....say, isn't that what a theocracy looks like?

But it was the photo that had me rolling on the dining room floor: two (2) chicks, table, and a microphone. Sad enough, but the City Hall Plaza in the background? DEAD EMPTY!! Not a soul in sight. Even the paper's copywriter made mention of the echoing voices of volunteers Keli Ragland and Viv Barrett (an inadvertent slight, I'm sure). Way to show that paramount unity, Springfield "believers"!

The smaller inset pic has a drowsy Viv reciting from 1st Samuel, an Old Testament love-fest that's power-packed with "gems" like the Ark of the Covenant, clumsy geezer Eli, the Philistine Goliath, the Witch of Endor, and the bickerings of David and Saul. Instead of a dull recitation, how's about an explanation that sanctifies the mental states that led to the wholesale murder, petty favoritisms, witchcraft, and suicidal ending of this tribal blighter?

The underlying text didn't get any better. Local ringleader Carol Godin (she HAS to be doing "the right thing", 'cause she's got "god" in her last name) believes it to be "another way of getting the word out" to Springfield. Seriously?!? Springfield's got about sixty-four thousand (64,000) residents cartwheeling into nearly two hundred (200) churches: I dare say "the word" is not only out, but has worn a splintered groove in many a buckled pew. Taking a much-needed break, Barrett goes on to say "so often, we tend to complain about our leaders; it's really much more positive to pray for wisdom and strength for them". Yep, eyes closed, head down, and what happens? They've run off with your trust, your wife, and your bank account (but don't be bitter; they're only too happy to paper their cells with your Bibles for a reduced sentence and a second shot.....at doing it all again).

What's really telling is that it's just another series of fundraisers hoisted to support next year's lame stunt(s). Three (3) events are slated to cover the entirety of this area: a ten-dollar ($10.00) breakfast at the Courtyard by Marriott, another City Hall Plaza snooze-in, and a dinner at St. John's Lutheran Church (which has the gall to REQUEST donations of participants). Three (3) events for sixty thousand (60,000) people?!? Either they know the turnout will blow, or they've woefully underplanned (you'll get good odds if you're prone to wagering).

MY plans for this headiest of days? Give a li'l blood, donate to the FFRF, and clean up a small patch of town (y'know, "hands that help, instead of lips that pray", that sorta thang).

REASON: the hot color that never goes out of style!